a few nights ago my boss says he going to give some sort of prize for being the best worker anyone had ever seen. all i did was solve four rubiks cubes, install 3 dishwashers (instructions were in bengali, nbd), and i total horse whispered a pony back outside after it wondered into our bar. i said, this is a wine bar silly horse go forth and seize the neigh… or however horses spell that. it takes too long for them to clippyclop words to me w their hoofs and i always just end up going yeayeahyeah - i knowwww u spelll ooohh its sooo interesting.

then i stick peanut butter in their teeth and film them because thats like, the number one joke to pull on a horse. unless they dont have a television - then youre just giving them free peanutbutter.

anyhow.

i got this bottle for a gift. bossman said he never has had one sip of this stuff so now i have to write a little report about it. and i said hey, why do i have homework for doing the most work. nuts to that!

so now im just gonna drink the whole thing in the wronnnggg glass and then clip pictures of tigers from a national geographic because im an artisttttt.

wait. what?